Welcome to another adventure from the Thousand Acre Woods deep within Trollheim of the NJ Pine Belt! Tales Chronicled by Jonathan Hulton... That's me! In today's tale, Angrboða and I find Karl digging up a Finnish Draugr.

"The sky painters!" the dead Finn replied. "How were they able to make such a perfect copy here of the sky that I see each night at home?"

Karl was raiding the Draugr's Howe looking for a new silverware set for his sister when Angrboða  and I found him.

"How long have you been in there?" I asked.

"I only kept inventory of what was worth stealing; nobody was going to steal my age."

"Boy," Angrboða  exclaimed, "if we brought you in front of a judge to deem if you smell worse than a goat, the judge and the goat would've died."

"Hey, this Howe is only big for one!" the Finn retorted. "Its bad enough I died before my time—I fell on hard times and I was forced to live on the smell of food."

"How so?" I asked.

"I was caught smelling an apple pie set on a windowsill."

I wonder if anyone caught Stufur, one of the Jule Lads, stealing pie plates during the holidays? There are thirteen trickters within Iceland that cause trouble during the Jule season.

"If I was the judge, I would've sentenced you to the jingle jangle of some coins to balance of the illegal sniffing," Karl said.

"If I had two coins to rub together—it all started when my wife gave birth three months after we were married," The Draugr said. "I had only known her for six months. When I questioned her, she asked how long I was married to her; I said three months. Then she asked how long she was married to me, three months. Last she asked how long was the child born after the marriage, three months. She said three plus three, plus three is nine months."

"I had some bosses who went to her math class; I figured after they tallied up my wages…" I said.

"We had this old man who died of old age and felt like he died on time after his wife died—he set a dangerous precedent for all of us who swore we died before our time."

"One thing I learned in life, a donkey carries heavy burdens, but he never asks for another," replied the Finn. "Most people, on the other hand, no matter how heavily burdened, are always eager to take on new obligations and responsibilities—take my wife; please."

"When they said to stand up to take my fair share of responsibilities in this life, I snuck through a cloud into my mother…" said Karl.

"I have noticed the rich Swedes had more to lose, while my circumstances remain constant—then I got married and found out there is less than nothing and it grows exponentially…My wife asked me for more space in bed, so I got out and she said it was not enough. Then I met a constable after curfew and asked him if he could go check with my wife if this was enough."

"That's bad," Angrboða  said.

"She was a widow to an intelligent and handsome man and I was a widower of a kind woman who could cook; it was then she figured the bed was not big enough for the four of us, so she kicked me out."

"That's bad," said Karl.

"I did try robbing a house once, but I took off my shoes to be quiet—the owner woke up and stole my shoes before I could get anything," the Draugr said.

"I buried my treasure outside of the house, so I won't get robbed," Karl said.

"Where?" asked Angrboða .

"I buried it under a cloud that looked just like a little lost piggy."

I smacked my head.

"The Thunderbird almost killed me while robbing me," said Karl.

"How so—I'm afraid to ask…" Angrboða said, looking at her toes.

Then he sighed. "Well, I wish he hadn't taken my best hood, but I suppose it's all for the best. If I hadn't taken off my Hood just in time, the Thunderbird would have carried my head away too!"

Me and Angrboða  just snuck out as the Karl sat down to share some tea with the Draugr. They found out they had a lot in common, the parts we didn't like…

"It's actually for the good of the world that everyone follows their own path," I said. "Just imagine: if everyone followed the same path and ended up at the same destination, the world would lose its balance, tip over, and we would all plunge into the abyss."

"It would be great if more people realize it's safe to be yourself—it's only a fourth of the whole we can control. We all have two arms and legs, a nose in the middle of our face, a tendency for breathing, and the like—we only have control of our personality."

"But that's impossible!" said Angrboða.

"Yes, it's impossible," I admitted. "But just imagine how wonderful it would bee, said the bumble…"

"I don't understand," said Angrboða , pointing up. "How can there be a fish perching in a tree that looks just like a parrot?"

"That is exactly what has me puzzled!" I replied…

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If you like the tales from Trollheim you will love Trolls: A Compendium!

by Christopher Jon Luke Dowgin and
Christopher Jonathan Hulton

Fiction/ Illustrated Fantasy/ Mythology / Scandinavian Myth/ Norse Sagas / Scandinavian Folk Lore / Coffee Table Book

Paperback: $45 | Hardcover: $65 | PDF eBook $5
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Following the Harry N. Abrams, Inc. tradition of the series that created Brian Froud's and Alan Lee's Faeries and Gnomes by Wil Huygen and Rien Poortvliet, we present you with what would have been the next book in the series: Trolls: A Compendium. Trolls—do you think you know what they are? Could you be wrong?

Trolls within Scandinavian lore, myth, saga, fantasy, and folktales are actually anything magical within our northern neighbor's culture. Richly illustrated in this volume are the tales of faeries, dwarves, nissen, huldras, gods, Jotuns, draugar, ghosts, and more. Also, this book introduces our readers to the world of Trollheim, populated by Nattrolls that escaped the 17th-century Swedish colony within the New Jersey Pine Barrens. Narrated by Christopher Jonathan Hulton, who lives in the Thousand Acre Woods just after the Civil War, their tales are filled with Native American lore and tales of their neighbor, the Jersey Devil.

Preview: Google Books

Paperback: $45.00

Hardcover: $65.00

PDF (non-flowable, best on tablet, desktop, or laptop) eBook: Download a copy onto your device today! Only $5.00