New Chapter in Chris’ Book of What the Fuck

1,23 You’re Dead!

In this chapter of Chris’ Book of What the Fuck we look at three artists who all died on 1,23. Albrecht Durer, Gustove Dore, and Salvidor Dali all died on my birthday. All four of us have a macabre sense of art and all of our surnames end in D. Click on the image below for the video and see our art and learn more about us.

Portrait of Salvador Dali with string attached to mustache hanging down.
Click on Video!

New Issue of Arkham: Tales from the Flipside

Jinn and Bass River Beverly Ma

A bit of Comedy and Horror this Season!

Read the latest issue of Arkham: Tales from the Flipside. In this season’s issue, we have six illustrated stories. The first story is The Land of .Oz, the latest in The Sinclair Narratives, where everyone’s favorite immortal, Henry Sinclair, fights off a horde of jinn before Cecil Rhodes (Debeers Diamonds and apartheid) floods America with gold to crash our economy and England invades from the Thousand Islands. In the next tale, Robert Bloch’s (author of Psycho) Creeper in the Crypt tells about a critter that stalks through the tunnels in Arkham. Followed The Gathering by Lisa Deschene, the latest from The Salem Cemetery series, where a man goes up against nature’s crafty squirrels in a game of death. Then in Evelyn E. Smith’s tale Man’s Best Friend, a slacker has been appointed by a machine at random to kill the previous overlord to become the new leader. Our final tale is about what happens when you get a wishing machine beyond your credit level in Something for Nothing by Robert Sheckley.

New Story from The Sinclair Narratives and Arkham!

The Land of .OZ

Mark Twain, Henry Sinclair, Teddy Roosevelt, and Nikola Tesla

Welcome back to another story from everyone’s favorite immortal, Henry Sinclair, and his third-generation Viking ragtag crew.  In this installment, Henry has to fight back a horde of jinns working with John Hammond and Cecil Rhodes (DeBeers and Apartheid notoriety) before England stages an invasion from the Thousand Islands and floods America with gold crashing our economy. He is helped along by his crew, Nikola Tesla, Theodore Roosevelt, a young FDR, Keno Crowninshield, and Mark Twain once again.

To read Land of .Oz click here!

To read the latest issue of Arkham: Tales from the Flipside Summer 2020 click here!

The Lost Lover and The Coral Castle

It’s your favorite child travel adviser, Tyler the Boy on the Move, once again bringing you the best in last-minute vacations. Your road trip planner for the weekend getaway to the coolest and strangest places in America. How do I know about them all? My parents are contract workers in the software industry and keep moving the family every 6 months…

After we lived in Gibsonton for a while, my parents got a new gig about four hours away in Homestead, Flordia. Just like in Gibsonton, as we were settling into our new home, I took a walk to explore. I ended up finding a crazy-looking sculpture garden with little moons and planets!

Little did I know that I had just stumbled into the Coral Castle! Ed Leedskalnin’s Coral Castle!

Latvian immigrant Edward “Ed” Leedskalnin was born in 1887 to a poor farming family in Riga. He spent his childhood working in the fields with his older siblings before becoming a stonemason.

According to urban legend, Ed fell madly in love with a young Latvian lass (10 years his minor) named Agnes Scuffs (or Skuvst — the accounts vary). The two quickly became engaged despite the fact that Ed was 26 and Agnes, called his “Sweet Sixteen” by Ed, was only 16 (a bit creepy if you ask me). On the very day they were meant to be married, Agnes abandoned Ed at the altar, canceling the wedding. Utterly heartbroken, Ed became despondent and ultimately left Lativia for the U.S. in 1912. Ed’s grand-nephew Janus Leedskalnin said that “it is absolutely clear that Ed left for America because he was jilted by his bride.”

Even outside of Latvia, Ed was consumed by thoughts of his “Sweet Sixteen.” After moving to Florida in 1918, Ed began to think of how he might be able to honor his lifelong lost love. Unable to forget her, Ed — despite being chronically ill, 100 pounds, and only just over 5 feet tall — began building a monument to his lost lover…out of MASSIVE blocks of stone.

With only hand-held tools and his own strength, Ed moved over 1,100 TONS of “coral” rock (actually sedimentary rock or oolite limestone) under the cover of darkness. Each and every night, Ed would set out to work, undergoing a grueling task of hauling 30-odd ton blocks of sedimentary rock onto the site of his megalithic castle before sculpturing them. None of Ed’s neighbors ever seemed to witness his moving, placing, or carving. And he did all of this to honor his runaway bride…not the best inspiration in my opinion, but hey — he built a cool castle!

Some were suspicious of Ed’s nighttime activities. Certain onlookers thought the steadfast progress could only be the result of magic. Others believe that Ed’s backbreaking work could only have been done in one way: aliens. I kid you not: extraterrestrials in Florida (is it really that much of a stretch?)!

However he did it, when it was finally all done and finished, Ed offered tours to anyone who wanted them for 10 cents a pop. After 28 years of night-time work, I’m surprised he didn’t ask for more!

By the Winter of 1951, Ed’s life’s work caught up to him. He fell ill (perhaps his chronic “Lung Condition” aggravated by the years of hard work). Before leaving his epic monument to Agnes, Ed hung a simple sign on the entranceway to his testament of lost love: “Going to the hospital.” He didn’t provide a return date. He simply took a bus to Miami’s Jackson Memorial Hospital and checked himself in. He died in his sleep three days later at age 64.

The Castle, an American Taj Mahal, was inherited by Ed’s nephew. The new owner sold the Coral Castle not three years after its maker died, and after that, it switched hands numerous times.

Today, the Castle remains to stand as a monument to love (kinda gross considering, you know, cooties) and a tourist attraction (it is sometimes called Flordia’s Stonehenge!).

You should stop by the next time you’re near the Everglades!

Until next time!

~ Tyler

To find out more about Tyler visit Salem House Press and buy Tyler’s latest book “Tyler Moves to Gibsonton Florida”. It is now available in paperback at most bookstores. Ask for it by name, and keep checking back for great cheap vacation ideas that might end up being the best vacation you ever had!

Flip & Scan eBook Cards Expand Your Stock without Extra Floor Space

Great for those $5 Sales During the Slow Times to Cover Labor Costs

 

Flip & Scan eBook Cards take up a little of your Point of Purchase space with over 100 books you might not of carried before. At Salem House Press we are bringing back best sellers of times gone by that did not make it onto the Summer Reading or College Level Course lists. Guaranteed winners that have proven themselves already! Also, we have our new books and the classics we are all used to. If you do not see a classic book in our catalog, give us a week and we will have it ready for sale! Just check the book against the current public domain list.

How do they work? The customer buys the card for $5 (wholesale $2.25) flips it over and scans the QR Code by snapping a picture on some phones and others by using one of many free QR Code reading apps. From there the customer is brought to a web page where they download the eBook format for their device. That simple!

 

Who can Sell Them? Anyone. From the Independent Bookstore who does not have the extra floor space to try new books and best sellers from times gone by to the teashop, smoke shop, record store, boutique, convenience stores, grocery shops, or gift shop! Anybody! Anyone who wants to make money…

Gum, People Magazine, Candy, or literature…

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, The Complete Tales of Conan the Barbarian, Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, She, Sherlock Holmes; any of the classic we have a Flip & Scan eBook Card for you. Also, we are bringing back the books from classic movies like Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, The Amazing Adventure of Ernest P. Bliss, Gone with the Wind, Wizard of OZ, Arsenic and Old Lace, Harvey, Topper, and more! Plus we have new titles like Sub Rosa  (The history of how Salem MA shaped the nation’s history from the Federal Reserve to the Light Bulb), Salem Secret Underground: The History of the Tunnels in the City, Universal Man (Biography of Leonardo da’ Vinci and his times), Burnt Toast and Oranges: The Miss Adventures of the Salem Love Psychic (An inspiring tale from one of Salem’s MA oldest psychics), Murder on the Common (Part of The Sinclair Narratives where everyone’s favorite immortal Henry Sinclair solves the murder of the most infamous murder of the 19th century that inspired Poe and the game Clue), Tales from Mr. Pelinger’s House (Illustrated Adventures within the home with its own wormhole through time), and Arkham: Tales from the Flipside magazine (Short illustrated fiction quarterly features the best in classic and new Scifi, fantasy, and mystery.).

Flip & Scan eBook Cards ad

To make lots of new money, email us at sales@salemhousepress.com to open up a new account!

Also, we have a great weekly newsletter email us at newsletter@salemhousepress.com to sign up! Filled with blogs about everything with wings, travels to find community in America, strange roadside attractions, tunnels on the east coast, the weekly horoscope from the Witch City, and more!

Is There Community Still in America or are we all Overworked?

Small Town Big City

Franconia Notch

Today we are faced with an overpriced housing market within San Francisco, New York, and Boston which is leaking out to the Midwestern cities of Des Moines, Pittsburgh, and others. Why should this be?

In this weekly blog post, Or at least an attempt at it, we will try to offer alternatives to this reality for many. We will proposition you to think differently; asking you why should we still focus on transportation hubs on rivers and oceans as the only centers in this nation for a profession and greater wealth. With the advent of the internet, working remotely, and We Work there is no need to exclusively center ahead these traditional hubs for commerce.

Granted, manufacturing, illegal drugs, and distribution companies will always rely on these traditional hub cities models; but, why should all the other industries that do not cater to them? Why does a software company need to be on the ocean? Why does Uber need a corporate headquarters on a river? Does Apple need to be in a big city? We can move back to the country.

Everything cycles in this world. At the turn of the twentieth century, there was a demand for factory workers, so many moved off the rural farm and centered on these transportation hub cities. Now in the 21st, these towns are so dense it is time for them to Super Nova. In doing so we will see a trend for people to move back into the interior of this country. Everything in this universe is reactionary. It gets too dense it either implodes or explodes. So will society.

So what would this new rural living look like? If we can get high-income wage owners to work remotely inside the areas once populated with more deer or cows than people, they will bring a demand for the amenities that once were only found within the cities to the little towns. Then others will follow and build restaurants, theaters, music venues, boutiques, and coffee shops that will provide for them. Would this ruin a small town?

One of the things that happen when major cities get oversaturated, the little boutique towns fill up and push the locals out; not if we make all the towns boutique-like. Outside of Boston, you have Salem, Newburyport, Portland, and Portsmouth in MA and NH. These are the quaint beautiful towns that offer the amenities you expect to find in Boston within a beautiful rural setting though. Why can’t Haverhill, MA or Danvers, MA have the same culture?

No, we should not have Starbucks brand the look of these downtowns making them cookie-cutter catering to an elite, but make them vibrant and offering something for everybody in town to be entertained and fulfilled by. For some this could be a top-notch sportsman center like Kittery Trading Post, for others this could be an Opera House, and then still some would just like a place like the “Brick” on Northern Exposure.

Now the Brick, it offered a place to meet the whole town in. It had the old world general store feel. A place you did not have to purchase something every time you entered, but you had to provide a good story though. Recently in urban centers, they are making little parks out of parking spots on the side of roads, but who has time to sit in them. Before these towns have been placing patio furniture in parks for people to enjoy, but no one uses them. Why?

To have a community, we need time. One way to get more time is to cut the commute. The walk from the bedroom to office in your bunny slippers cuts frustration, saves the planet, and makes driving a joy again when you cut the number of cars on the road by 90%. Working remotely could do this. It would be the first step to community again. Do we need to guilt people into community at first?

My mother’s church in Norseville, NJ built a community she still returns to at least once a year. They provided the carnival, the smorgasbord dinners, dances, bowling, ice skating, and many more events where they met their spouses and kept their families together with. Granted the church provided the guilt to do so… If you have a good church that works for you that does this still, great! But, we can provide these things without the church as well. So should we guilt people to be selfish and then share their free time?

Trouble. Trouble eliminated trouble. It was a game of pure luck. There was no real skill, just a bubble, and a bouncing dice. It provided the excuse to gather and bullshit without any real competition or sore feelings. Everyone got a turn to win as the conversation flowed. For poker night, a board game night, or fishing is just the vehicle for people to gather and have a good time bullshitting. It helps us forget the trouble in our lives and keeps us close enough to help remove the trouble that arises.

Honestly, I am just fed up seeing my best friends once a year for them only to tell me they have been working lately! We need to get back to living like humans and not bees. Plus, if it wasn’t for all of them turning into hermits I would be angrier that I am being forced out of my town due to the high rents leaving and the poor situations to live in. I need to find a place where there is community once more.

I find myself limited in my potential happiness if I am the happiest in town, and my happiness is sinking. For to have peak experiences you must be around others who are having peak experiences as well. When you are around those just getting by or find themselves stressed or depressed, guess where you are heading…

So this weekly post will discuss things I have mentioned in more detail and offer examples where good things are happening. It will also offer ideas for towns to become self-sufficient without taxes. Imagine a town that has a sever farm that pays for the roads, schools, and hospitals? We might have a town that pays its citizens instead… So come back next week and see what we come up with to improve our lives.