Land of .Oz


September 19, 1900~ “Henry I told you that the Stockings would win the pennant!” said Roosevelt reading the news as Louie drove our 1899 Packard Electric.

“Yeah, but they just lost to Indianapolis yesterday,” said Louie.

“Well, they were not trying since they won the pennant already.”

“But it is embarrassing to lose to that group of tramps.”

I interjected between these two before their debate could escalate, “They say Irving Baxter had won five medals in Athletics at the Olympics at the French World Fair.”

Tesla continued, “Reports that have come back from overseas says that this year’s Fair had nothing to rival my little fair in 1893! No great inventions of any matter; just an automatic sidewalk and some moving images that talk to the audience. Nothing that will lead anywhere.”

“You see they just made another memorial to Casey Jones,” I mention as I turn the page of my paper.

“I shared a cigarette with him, a nasty habit I had picked up at the Fair, which I have lost since then; stress and all about installing thousands of light bulbs. Aye, Mr. Jones was the engineer bringing people to the Fair. We had a good talk about, baseball,” Tesla finished with a smile and a tilt of his head.

“I see Li Hongzhang is negotiating the peace treaty in the Boxer Revolt,” Twain said as he flipped the square of his paper over, “400 to 43 in China’s favor. That is 400 million to 43 million gentlemen; how could that many Chinese people be wrong, Henry? England and its Arthurian Tales that flood out from a tiny island are like Japan and the Samurai knight, both should realize the fate of that little French man and be content with their little islands.”

“Mark, you sound like you’re an anti-imperialist! If I had control of this nation I would put our dominance upon the western hemisphere,” Teddy retorted.

“I see plans are shaping up with England and America building that canal through Nicaragua,” I said failing miserably to change the subject.

“The Thousand Day War is shaping up in Gran Columbia,” Teddy bulwarks his way forward through the conversation he wanted.

“Aye yes, The Columbian Exposition. Taking Casey’s train everyday to work with, your compatriot Henry, Moses Framer and laughing at the fact that Thomas was kicked out of his own company by Morgan.” Tesla feigned stupidity to derail the conversation brewing between Twain and Teddy. We had sat through many eruptions between these two over the progress of the Boer War and the Boxer Rebellion this summer.

“King Umberto I and Governor William Goebel were just shot down this year by anarchists. They should of got that whelp the Prince of Wales too. What does his mom call him? A toad, that’s right. Well she calls all of her children toads. My they have nothing on my Calaveras County frog. Imagine what damage that family can cause this world from that fat dying woman’s venom,” Twain stabs at Teddy.

“Granted they had shot the Governor of Kentucky; an anarchist would never be able to get to one of our presidents like they shot down the King of Italy,” Teddy said confidently staring at his paper as he turned the page ignoring Twain.

“Mr. Roosevelt. They just ratified The International Arbitration Court at The Hague to handle affairs before they can escalate into larger matters of consequence. I always say we should let two blowhards wearing crowns speak softly, so as not to bother the rest of us, and beat it out with two large sticks on a deserted island and never tell us their resolutions. Why should the masses die, just because one of them lost their daddy or that their mommy never loved them…”

“Now you have gone too far sir,…”

“Imagine if we could have a league of countries that could sit at a round table and call out the affairs of the world before any of our sons have to die once more…”

“Sir, we have been trying that for years through diplomats and emissaries for—centuries, and it is a fool’s errand. We need to have might and not skulk down to our lowest selves to resist that charge up that hill to vanquish any foe…It is for the Supermen to lead the world.”

“Didn’t Nietzsche just die?” interjected Louie.

“I hear you almost got all your men killed while they were singing The Anacreontic Song in four part harmony to a much smaller force. A herd of elephants charging up the hill almost lost to a legion of ants…” Twain jabbed back at Teddy.

“Sir we won that day and I am still charging up that hill to my destiny! War needs to be an inevitability so wars can continue to their rightful end! My life is calling me onto the presidency and that will never be halted by anyone calling for some namby-pamby League of Nations! Bully!”

“Has anyone read that Oz book? It sounds like a fairy tale for good old Bryan. I don’t know if anyone would teach these thoughts later in a school, but it does to me seem that the Yellow Brick Road which Mr. Baum mentions in his tale is a direct jab at Mr. McKinley’s gold standard act this year with the heroine wearing silver slippers walking to D.C. which he calls the Emerald City. Henry he even takes a dig at our old enemies the Essex Junto that fills the banks in Boston. He calls the whole bunch of them the Wicked Witch of the East and drops a house on the whole lot of them,” Louie says successfully changing the subject at last. “I even think he calls McKinley the Wicked Witch of the West for his gold act.”

“McKinley, I would hate to become his running mate,” Teddy says trying to ignore the previous conversation that got his ire up. “Speak softly and carry a big stick.”

“That is not what I said; you never listen,” Twain jabs at Roosevelt again, “You only hear what you want to.”



We just arrived at my Red Tavern. In this persona I was Edward Francis Searle, an interior decorator who married the widow of Mark Hopkinson who had left me the 23rd largest fortune in American history. Hopkinson had owned the railroad from the west that met the train from the east on the First Transcontinental Railroad. Little did anyone know that I was the richest in American history, prior to the marriage. Attesting to this fact is my Chapel filled with all of the Templar Treasures I had sailed to Salem Massachusetts from Roslyn Scotland in 1398. Plus, there are all of the other magical items I have acquired since through my grand series of tunnels under that city. Nowadays I find myself within Methuen and we are about to enter my latest construct. I had a hotel taken down and a few other houses joined in its place to make this tavern.

I have a bad habit of taking properties and homes and shuffling them like cards in a deck. I have taken a whole road from here to New Hampshire and turned it into a little English hamlet.

I have never dispossessed anyone. I just take what they have, with their permission, and make something wonderful out of it. Although I do strip them all of one thing! I steal their mortgage and exchange it for a deed.

“Henry, I must say the place is quite quaint. It has a feeling of an old New England stage coach tavern,” Tesla says with approval, “Let us sit by the stone fireplace.”

“Let me suggest we all have a hamburger. Then for desert a round of Hershey chocolate bars. Its the latest cuisines,” I offer.

Night was just settling in and the evenings just started producing a chill, as has been happening as of late. The proprietors had just raised the fire in the hearth before our arrival. The fire was just crackling its initial sap. Vulcan’s little orchestra was playing behind us, adding ambience to our conversation.

“Have you heard of this Carrie Nation and her axe?” Louie asked.

“She gave her mother 40 whacks?” Teddy asked.

“No, she is this little old teetotaler of a woman who busts up taverns like this one with her axe. May she never find this wonderful place of yours Henry,” Louie says as he sips his stout.

I will interject for a moment. Yes my friends call me Henry. These are my companions. Many I recognize from their prior lives. To the outward world I am Edward Francis Searle, but not to my comrades.

“Henry, you hear about Cecil Rhodes’ visit to Gloucester this week?” Teddy comments. “He is to visit the Hammonds.”

“Nikola, that is the gentleman whom I want to introduce you to. He is a great financier. He is Rhodes’ gold man. A great geologist that just has this uncanny sense to smell gold buried deep within the earth,” Twain says.

“I bet this new gold standard will make the two of them a great fortune,” I mention.


“A couple of years ago I brought international attention to the lynching of Rhodes’ brother and John Hammond Sr.; he has a son you might want to impress Nikola. He is fond of inventors,” Twain says with some hesitation. “I could not see a countryman die. If he was a Congressman, things might have been different. Though he was involved in stripping a country of their own determination. They failed taking the Transvaal, which England seems to be on the verge of taking anyway. Rhodes within the growth of his DeBeers diamond mines has taking over Zimbabwe and named it after himself, Rhodesia. His goal is to use that money to create a white Anglo-Saxon empire domineering over the whole world with England being led by their German kings. He even created apartheid to imprison the black race upon their own native soil.” Twain’s head sinks a little, “No good deed ever goes unpunished. The only way to defeat businessmen like him is for people to stop supporting them through their purchases, but the average person’s pockets are too deep and their minds too shallow.”

“Imagine this soft faced doughboy Saxon with his pitiful eyes and that tiny little mustache taking over the world; I can never see anyone like that succeeding!” Louie says before his next swill.

“So Mark, you want me to ask for money from a man like him?” Tesla asks confused and hurt.

“Well, he is a better animal than Morgan…” Twain answers.

Tesla had just moved to the Waldorf Astoria in Manhattan and befriended their manager Boldt. He came back east looking for funding after his successful project in Colorado. He needed investors to create a tower he was planning to build to distribute free electricity to the world. Also he was working in secret with Twain to make a weapon out of it to end all wars. We all know how well those ideas work out; the weapon to end all wars, not the free electricity idea…

Morgan, working for the Rothschilds, would be trying to fulfill his English bankers dreams of quick communication. Ever since that landfall when the Passenger Pigeon brought news of Arthur Wellington’s victory over the little man (that Twain mentioned earlier) before anyone else had heard, they have been investing in telegraphs and international cables to bring future growth in the stock market. Wireless communication across the Atlantic, that Tesla could promise them with this tower, would be a large boom for these two banking empires. Morgan’s men had been courting Tesla within the restaurants in New York City as of late.


A few days later we were heading down the hill to the Hammond’s estate on the bay. A huge home with a wizard tower overlooking the ocean with a grand palace attached to it and a boat house underneath. We left our Packard at the front door, but Louie stayed in the driveway. I was not sure if he would be there when we left. He said the place gave him the heeby jeebys.

Twain and Teddy tried entering shoulder to shoulder amongst many elbow jabs; each trying to enter before the other. I followed after Nikola.

As we left the foyer for the hall leading to the parlor on the ocean, this little tyke ran past us chugging away with a toy train in his hand. He almost bowled Teddy over. The butler took us to our seats where Hammond and Rhodes waited for us. Hammond clipped two cigars, lit them, and handed one to Cecil. Twain was drooling. Was this an insult? To light up only two cigars; just as Twain entered the room without one for this cigar aficionado.

“Cuban,” declared Hammond.

“Reminds me of my days during the war,” Teddy reminisced, “Finest cigars I ever had.”

Twain miraculously remained quiet. I think he was fixated on the cigars. He could only handle one irritant at a time.


We took our seats without being invited. Nikola was hiding the slight more than the rest of us. Twain had informed him that they might be possible investors and he did not want to lose them before he could make his pitch.

“John, may I introduce the inventor Nikola Tesla. His advances in transmitting electricity without the aid of wires is proving to be the 11th wonder of the world. At this moment, back in New York his staff is breaking ground for his tower that will not only transmit electricity, but it will send images, control aeroplanes, control boats, and send radio waves!” Mark sold Tesla with his southern charm.

“Hello gentlemen,” Tesla said with a slight bow.

With that Alexander Graham Bell entered the room with little John on his shoulders. “Aye, Mr. Tesla. What a pleasure to meet you.”

“Mr. Bell.”

“Alex, please. I hear you are working on a way to send the human voice wirelessly across the ocean. Imagine what it could do for Atlantic Telegraph & Telephone.”

“Indeed sir, I am looking for financing now to build my tower at Wardenclyffe. Not only will it transmit, but receive voice messages from portable devices. It will send text messages to printers around the world. Facsimiles of books and photographs.”

“My lab might be interested in an investment. What do you two think?” Alex asked, interrupting Hammond and Rhodes in their little private conversation. Teddy, Twain, and I would have sat back and ate peanuts and popcorn if we could. We were mere spectators; never had Rhodes or Hammond even acknowledged us.

At this point little John sat on his father’s lap. “This is my son John Junior. He is an inventor! Thomas Alva Edison himself, has taken him under his wing. Right now he is fashioning his own, wing, at Menlo Park to administer to his tutelage as we speak. Edison, the great American inventor!”

We all had waited for Hammond to speak, but it was not worth it. Tesla and Edison’s falling out was legendary. Hammond had struck his mark as he blew smoke in Twain’s face. Rhodes just sat there and laughed a little measly laugh.

“I do say gentlemen, and I use the term lightly, for you have proven yourselves not to be gentle or even men of much stature. I still use that moniker out of mere politeness. Today you have proven that there is a form of life, that’s even lower than that of a senior congressman. I bring you this truly kind soul who has the benefit of the human race within his hands that could have built you statures that would rival, even that of Lincoln and Washington, and you scorn him,” with that Twain rips the cigar away from Rhodes and blows the smoke back at him. “You Cecil. I saved your brother’s life. You owe me! Why I saved him, heaven only knows. It was not for you to imprison my darker brothers or to help you spread nationalism and imperialism for that fat toad!” Then Twain turned on Hammond, “You, John, you would have had to order extra long collars if it was not for me!’

“Mr. Rhodes. I hear you started digging in Sheba’s Breast,” I asked.

“Not much escapes you Mr. Sinclair,” Rhodes answers, “My sources tell me you visited the mountain while your wife was alive. An elder woman on safari deep in Africa does not go unnoticed. May I ask for what you were looking. Many strange rumors abound about the finds you and your wife collected on your travels through Europe. Strange artifacts.”

“I would be careful digging through her caves,” I said warning him, “Many strange guardians abound within.”

When I looked behind me I had seen Tesla playing with young John. He was instructing him on how to operate what he called a radio controlled boat. Little John ran out the French doors toward the ocean with his new toy. I think Tesla did indeed make a friend out of John Hammond. Maybe not the one he intended though.

I grabbed Nikola’s shoulder as he was standing up to catch his ear, “I think you would be better helped if you asked for financing from Butch Cassidy. He just took the First National Bank of Winnemucca, Nevada, for $32,640 with $31,000 of it in $20 gold pieces…”.


Louie, Bjorn, and myself went to Congress Street in Beverly below Goat’s Hill to walk down to the convergence of Bass River and Danvers River to do some fishing. Our way was lit by my kerosene lamp. Bjorn was a member of the Hibernian Fireman Insurance Company in Salem. Over the years these Hibernians have been filled with the reincarnated crew of my first voyage to Salem in 1398. They were my third generation Viking crew from Orkney. Bjorn in this life is named Christian, but I still call him by the name I first knew him by 600 years ago. Boy do I anger him...tonight we were after strippers.

We all spiked in our bamboo poles into the sand and proceeded to cast out our lines. After a few reels we dropped our fishing poles inside the hollow bamboo and sat down and started our nightly conversation.

“The W.E. Hoyt Company has almost finished rebuilding Holyoke’s bank building,” Bjorn mentioned, in between bites of a ham sandwich. He pulled out 2 more from his aluminum cooler. Louie’s and my own eye’s lit up. We knew Bjorn got these sandwiches from Lily’s Cafe. Lily always used fresh multi grain wheat bread filled with sunflower, millet, and other seeds to hold her capicola, spinach, provolone sandwiches.

“I wonder how the tunnels are coming under the building,” I went on. “It was always a hub for various tunnel systems in town since Holyoke, but now they are stitching together 6 separate foundations from the buildings that burned down on Derby Square. I wonder if they will discover the sealed entrance in front of the crapper in the men’s room that leads to my Chapel? I have a few booby traps, but…”

“Tesla was mentioning Elihu Thomson has been seen moving electrical apparatus into its basement,” Louie interjected between chews of his sandwich.

“I have heard that too. General Electric has just opened up their industrial lab in Schenectady, New York and many were wondering where they would be building the one on the east coast,” I answered.

“No sign of any building in Lynn by their plant?” Bjorn asked before he took a swill of his porter and handed me and Louie one.

Louie’s line jiggled and he jumped up, but found no fish pulling on his bait.

“Nope, JP Morgan has been seen descending into the abyss of the building too,” Louie said as he stabbed his pole back into the bamboo dejected.

“Morgan, I wonder what he is doing in there?” I wondered. I had some new questions for Tesla. He was thinking of propositioning Morgan for his own project.

That is when all three lines whizzed out and our poles bent almost in half. Louie’s popped out of the bamboo and sailed out into the Bass River. Louie dove for it, but he only got a few splinters and a rope burn for his effort. The water by the shore lowered and about 20 feet out the tide rose to 60 feet and began taking on an anthropomorphic form. A large deep bellowing laugh came up from the river’s bottom and softly reverberated against our chests. Through the darkness I had seen a large African man wielding a curved shotel sword.

Bjorn ran forward to address the threat, Louie ran, and I stood where I was. I looked around for my Pooka friend, but he was nowhere to be seen. The shotel swung and Bjorn and myself ducked as Louie had to jump over the blade. Louie fell on his face.


A hurricane began to wail pushing us up the hill. Against our will we began catching a score of strippers as we began to be pelted by these 3 foot long fish. Bjorn and I dug our heels back into the hill and prepared to stand our ground. Louie, he scampered about collecting the fish for diner later at the Tavern.


The Genie rushed in head first to smash us into the hill. Bjorn ducked to the left and I went flat and felt like a human tissue as the genie’s nose swept over me. The gale began to pick up speed as my lantern smashed into my chest.

I immediately took an amulet bearing one of Solomon’s sigils from my pocket and burned its image into the bottom of the lamp and pointed it at the withdrawing head. From the middle of his cranium you could see sinew stretching in both directions fighting with itself. As he was withdrawing for another strike he was being pulled forward into the lamp. His body bounced together and apart in quick successions before it gave in and agreed to move forward into the lantern. I quickly spun the kerosene cap on. This was one of Solomon’s 72 sigils used to entrap the jinn.

“Louie. You got that fish?” I asked.

“Yes, more than enough for the Saturday Night Fish Fry for the Hibernian charity drive,” Louie Jordan answered.


The three of us met Teddy, Twain, and Tesla at the Red Tavern. Louie went to the kitchen to cook a couple of the stripers for us. Bjorn brought rounds of porter, scotch ale, and stout to our table in front of the stone fireplace.

“Jinn, you say Henry!,” Teddy asked.

“Yes, the biggest African you have ever seen. Strange though, he was shaped like an African, but he was tinged blue,” said Bjorn.

“I am afraid it will not be the only one,” I said as I lit the lantern and placed it in the center of the table. As the fumes wafted up to be burned, the jinn’s soul disintegrated.

“Do you have any more of those silly gils in your pocket?” Louie asks me.

“Sigils? Yes, but I got lucky that this jinn was close enough to be sucked in. It will be harder to get the others in after they find out how this one met his end.”

“Was there an old legend about the jinn showing Solomon where to dig his mine?” Tesla asks as he sips his porter.


Before I could answer Keno Crowninshield walks in and has a seat. Bjorn hands him a porter. Keno was one of Teddy’s Glee-Club Roughriders. He had been gone for a few days apologizing to his new bride. He got married and ran away like a Roman soldier after the wedding to charge up San Juan Hill with Roosevelt. Louisa was a force of nature. The daughter and heir to the Dupont fortune. Her temper was legendary and it resembled the gunpowder that made her family’s fortune. The Dupont’s were hired by Washington to come out of France to create ordinances during the war. “I was just telling the hostess about that day outside Las Guasimas when you took command thinking Wood was dead. Prancing about like the chief peacock; until Wood came back from the dead and tapped you on the shoulder. You should have seen your face. He jumped a foot out of his boots. He was in such a despair. Mortified. Then Wood got promoted within the half hour and Teddy was indeed in charge,” Keno pauses, “A once in a lifetime promotion! It could never happen to you again.”


“Those were glorious days! To be in the thick of battle with the bullets whizzing by...”

“Sit down you imperialist stooge. You might not be a Bull Moose charging with chest out, but you definitely are full of bull sir…” Twain scorns him as he puffs on his cigar.

“You two quit it! Yes Nikola,” I return to his question. “After a long battle with the jinn, Solomon created the 72 seals. Unfortunately, he fell for their promises of great powers. He thought he was stronger than them, but they preyed on his avarice. They promised him great fortunes and wisdom. Out of this he was granted his mines which the jinn had kept generations of their treasures in. His avarice weakened him and he fell to one of their pleas for his ring for further wisdom. The original Doctor Faustus. Once he handed over the ring, a jinn replaced him on his throne and became his double. Solomon then wandered the Earth as a pauper.

After many years, Solomon returned with a mysterious staff and was able to banish the jinn. This was the staff Solomon held that slipped from the floor and toppled the King, many years later. No one knew for sure how long Solomon was dead before the staff gave way.”


“Solomon’s gold mines? Louisa mentioned that. Her family has a mine of guano; you believe it gentlemen? A cave of bat shit, worth a fortune in South Africa on Sheba’s Breast. She took a sojourn to preserve an old neighboring tribe of the Zulu’s temple. Always preserving something that one; the locals told of tales of Solomon visiting the mountain,” Keno was explaining as he turned a seat backwards and leaned in on it to take a sip of his porter. “She is about ready to bribe Peabody’s old museum to change the name of that old Joseph White’s mansion to protect me from infamy.”

Keno’s distant relative was mysteriously found hanging in his cell from a low window with his knees almost touching the ground. He was implicated in the murder of Captain Joseph White, a murder I solved back in 1830. His other relative George Crowninshield, escaped the noose that found the two Knapp brothers as well (sort of), but he was the last to be released from jail.

Two women came forward and testified that they were sharing his bed, out of town, that night.

“I have been exchanging correspondences on the Page Machine from Morgan. He has been trying to coordinate a time for a meeting, but he mentioned he has to meet the Hammonds today,” Tesla informs us.

“Rothschild has been corresponding with McKinley lately advising him on the benefits of putting the nation on the gold standard,” Teddy was cueing us in on the behind the scenes machinations of our capitol. “Morgan’s has been tied to the Rothschilds since in vitro. His father took over George Peabody’s company that made its fortune from its ties to Nathaniel Rothschild and his son Lionel.

The Rothschilds have been interfering with religious treasures, including mine, since the The Masonic Congress of Wilhelmsbad and the rise of the Illuminati which allowed Jews into the Masons for the first time. Many fine Jews have been Masons since, but the some rotten apples appear in all cultures. Recently Cecil Rhodes has hidden the Illuminati behind his Society of the Elect. Nathan Rothschild, Waldorf Astor, and his wife Nancy are leading members.

“Nikola, I know you got Boldt’s ear, but do you know Waldorf?” I ask.

“Yes my friend. Many dinners I have had with him in his dinning room.”

“Has he mentioned this gold standard as of late?”

“Yes, there was this one evening Boldt and himself got heated over some plans and he ordered Boldt to work faster. This was after one of Bryan’s Golden Crucifix speeches.”

“Henry, have you read The Wizard of Oz yet? It is going to be the all time best seller this year! I’m telling you its all about Bryan challenging the gold standard…” Louie asks excitedly.

“Louie! No I have not, now can we get back to the subject,” I lost my temper on him a little. “So Nikola, any idea what their plans were?” As of late, Twain’s and Roosevelt’s arguing has been rubbing off on everyone.

“No. Sorry. They were mentioning one of the Thousand Islands on the Saint Lawrence though.”

“My cousin James has an island on the Saint Lawrence, I can telegraph him,” Teddy offers.

“Bull Moose. That is what I am!” Teddy says under his breath.

“You never listen to me. I don’t even know…” Twain says despondent.


Tesla, Twain, Teddy, Louie, and myself headed off to visit the Miskatonic University to talk to Professor Wilmarth. Wilmarth is not a natural immortal, he was somewhere in between a ghost and one. He is chained within a fixed distance from some hidden books within his library. When I first met him he was free to travel the world and was quite spry. He was from the long line of fencers descended from the Musketeer d’Artagnan. Then once while we were fighting Cthulhu from arising into our dimension, he had to shape shift through dimensions and exit through a tome of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight to defeat him. Ever since then, he has been bound by this book and a few others in which I will keep secret from my readers to protect him.

Today I needed to learn more about the staff that Solomon had held upon his death.

“Henry, you above all others should know what the holy rod was,” the professor said with a sly smile.


“The spear that pierced you and the cross beam that bound your forearms were made from the same rod,” the professor said with a sly wink. “The holy rod was actually a pillar. The spear and the cross beam were made from this pillar. Two woods that were actually one. Much like Adam’s mistake believing that there were two trees in the garden. They were reflections of one and another. Adam went to his grave, which was under the cross, believing he only ate from one tree and not the other. Life is all about perception. Perception is reality.”

“The cross was raised above Adam’s grave?” Tesla asked.

“Yes, Golgotha is Aramaic for skull. Calva is Latin for skull; as in Calvary. It was the burial place of Adam’s skull. Emmanuel Bar Joseph was the second Adam, but the story continues after the crucifixion.

We are born from woman, then reborn by men into society by several different rituals around the world, but few receive the third birth. Jesus raised Lazarus from his ritual death to be born into the society of men. Odin hung from a tree for nine nights, Buddha sat under his Bodhi Tree, and Christ was nailed at 9am and died at 3pm. Multiples of three. Christ had three women at his crucifixion and three women raised him from the tomb. Tomb to the womb. Nine is a multiple of three.

Of the myth of Joseph of Arimathea, Arimathea was the city Ramathaim-Zophim, now called Ramallah, when translated into Greek. The Crusaders believed it was Nabi Samwil and erected a citadel there. Ramallah is a town north of Jerusalem within Palestine. There Solomon’s ring was kept after the fall of Solomon’s Temple. Joseph had brought the ring to protect the healing body of Christ on this escape, along with the Philosopher’s Stone.

Following Christ was Longinus who had helped Joseph move Jesus to his tomb and attested to his resurrection, in health. He stayed on for a while telling about the miracles he had seen at his crucifixion. It was Longinus who brought the second part of the Solomon’s Holy Rod to Golgotha.

Word got back to Pontius Pilate and he declared that he was to forfeit his head along with the other two soldiers at the cross. When they came for him at his father’s estate, he stalled them till one of his own soldiers came to him in the morning for orders. He tricked Pilate’s men that this soldier was him and they took his head instead. Now that his rank of Centurion was taken from him, he sought revenge on Christ with the weapon he knew that could draw the very blood from him. Joseph had taken Christ with the pregnant Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother, Lazarus, St. Philip, and Anna (Joseph’s daughter) to Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer. With the help of Romani Joseph, Anna, and Phillip were able to bring Jesus to England while being chased by Longinus and a group of Jews who disposed of Caiaphas.

After a battle in England where Llyr, his father Beli the Great, and Bran the Blessed helped defeat Longinus, they stole the Spear of Destiny and stuck it on a hill saying ‘Weary us All on Glastonbury Tor’. Later Mordred cut down the thorn tree it had turned into, removing the branches and found the spear. He used it to kill his father Arthur.

From there it has flown about Europe…”

“Henry, I told you to read The Wizard of Oz! The Golden Crucifix…” Louie stammered on.

“Louie, quit it!” I was annoyed. “So Professor, it is the spear along with the ring that will imprison the jinn?”

“Yes sir!” said the professor. “You might have knowledge of the jinn sigil used to entrap regular jinn in vessels, but it is only Solomon’s Ring that can control the Jinn Kings and only the Spear of Destiny that can destroy them.”

“Where are they now?” asks Teddy with some excitement. I think he was enjoying the tale.


“Teddy, the spear is safe within my Chapel,” I answered.

“It is rumored that during John Hammond’s recovery from torture at the hands of those in Africa, he had sent his son with his trusted aides searching all manner of castles within England,” the professor explains.

“What were they looking for?” asks Tesla.

“Solomon’s Ring that Joseph of Arimathea slid on the Holy Rod,” continues the professor. “It is said it was lost when Arthur pulled the spear from his gut.”

“Did they find it?” asks Tesla.

“I’m afraid they did,” answers the professor.

“Gentlemen, I am afraid that could be partially my fault,” interjects Twain, “You see I gave the father an original manuscript of my Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court with a chapter on the Holy Rod and the ring which my editors had taken out of the finished book.”

“I’m not sure if all of the blame can fall on you,” the professor consoles Twain, “See Hammond bought a dwarven imp from the Sotho tribe. Hammond had used the imp to find gold and diamonds throughout Africa for Rhodes, but it could not find Solomon’s mines. Even though it could not find the mines, Hammond did use it in England to find the ring. With the ring they can force the jinn to reveal the hiding place. It was indeed theirs in the first place.”

“Morgan and Rothschilds had placed some very heavy pressure on McKinley to force America onto the gold standard amongst Bryan’s pleas for a Silver standard. With Solomon’s Mines of gold, Rhodes could flood the gold market which would crash the American economy with the Bank of England swooping into the depreciation market,” Teddy says as light has just dawned on Marblehead.

“Just like Peabody had planned in 1837 with the Rothschilds. After their intervention Perkins helped the Panic along by flooding the opium market with gold from Mexico with the help of Baring Brothers Bank,” I added.

“The crux of the issue is, the genies can only be summoned together on the equinox at a midway point in between the equator and the North Pole,” said the professor. “See the mine lays on an inter dimensional point that can only be opened when all of the Jinn are gathered.”

“During the French and Indian War, before I took on the persona of General William Howe, Arthur Sinclair and me had a run in with the Illuminati on Deer Island on the Saint Lawrence,” I explained. “It was one of those points.”

“Is that why Waldorf and Boldt are building that castle?” asks Tesla. “Henry, was there a story of Aaron Burr working with an Irish Prince on the Ohio River?”

“Yes during his conspiracy, in which Jefferson had let him off on treason charges, he worked with the prince and utilized his castle as base of operations to take over the western territories of North America. It was a plan backed by the Essex Junto,” I explained.

“I believe Boldt has been going to this French Spiritualist which has been telling him that he is this Irish prince reincarnated,” says Tesla.

“So it looks like another attempt for England to conquer America?” asks Teddy.

“I’m afraid so. Rhodes’ goal is to have all Anglo-Saxon countries back under England’s heel ruled by its German overlords. To lord the German white race over the rest of the lesser races…” I continued.

“There is no better time to manipulate Queen Victoria,” Teddy begins to explain, “The Prince of Wales was recently shot, her other son Alfred has died of throat cancer, and her eldest daughter –Vicky, the Dowager Empress of Germany – had been diagnosed with incurable breast cancer that has spread to her spine. Prince Christian Victor, eldest son of her daughter Princess Helena, has just succumbed to enteric fever while serving with the British Army in South Africa. Then on Christmas day, Jane, Lady Churchill, the queen’s oldest and most trusted friend, was found dead in her bed while staying with the Queen at Osborne House. Victoria might not be in her right frame of mind and might be able to be persuaded by Rhodes to outfit and army on Deer Island. Which would explain why they withdrew their minister back to London. I had thought it was over our imperialist plans over Cuba.”

“Imagine that little doughboy with his hair flop and little mustache controlling the world…” Louie said as he sipped from his stout. “Now let me get this straight. Can you run all that by me again?”

“From where should I start Louie?” I asked.

“Can you go back to the part about how the spear pierced you and move forward...”

“Henry,” the professor pulls me over, “Remember the key is in the Dark Continent.”


Read the Rest in this Season's Issue of Arkham: Tales from the Flipside. Order above.