A Quiet Day in Trollheim
Welcome to another adventure from the Thousand Acre Woods. A place on the edge of Trollheim deep within the mysterious NJ Pine Belt! Tales Chronicled by Christopher Jonathan Hulton...That's me! Today's tale, Bjorn makes the Great Horned Serpent his BITCH. Gramps is still wondering, why it took so long...
After reading our latest story, make sure to tell a friend, and check out our Trollheim books below!
Bjorn and Gramps were sitting on the bridge across Duckspond. It was a hot, dry, sunny day, and they were feeling a bit parched. It was one of those days where the mud curls up and blows away without any concern for the ants that might be traversing it, or that the aqueous area of your eye is in line with its path.
Bjorn rubbed his and reached down, absent-mindedly, and lifted a bottle of Miss Clevenger's recent batch of sassafras beer to his mouth, with the cap on.
He lazily whistled as he rested the bottle on the bridge. The Great Horned Serpent raised its head like a puppy whose only concern all afternoon was waiting for its master to return and ask for him to fetch a beef tenderloin dinner with all the trimmings, along with the beautiful wench to serve it, who at the moment didn't live there.
There may be some debate, if the dog was not thinking of fetching the steak for himself, the master should be happy with the wench alone. In the serpent's eyes was the obedience of a K9 who lived to serve, and would never think of eating the steak on his own.
Bjorn snapped his fingers, and the once great one protruded his two front teeth. Then Bjorn lifted his bottle and popped the cap in his mouth, which the serpent swallowed with a loud, audible gulp.
Later that week, the two of them bought a cask from Peggy for Angroboda's birthday party, but they forgot the tap. Which was OK, since Miss Clevenger forgot to auger a bunghole. Gramps stretched out his arm and opened his hand.
In the past, he shoved a stick sideways down his throat till it rested at the tip of his tail. After all these years, the serpent is too afraid to spit it out.
Gramps then grabbed his two ends with both hands, and wrung him into the shape of a drill.
Then he drilled a bunghole in the top.
Gramps then smacked the handle on the ground, and the stick spun so when he shook him up and down, it fell out.
They still needed a tap. So Gramps shoved the mighty one's tail in the hole and spun the cask a quarter turn. Gramps stopped and pondered how to control the spicket. In the same instant,Bjorn noticed the potential of the cask rolling down into the pond. Gramps then stretched him out along the width of the cask and used him as a stop. Stopping the rolling and the flow of the beer at the same time.
If you like this tale, hit the share button below or just even tell your friend the old fashion way, with your mouth. Come back next week for our next tale.
We are releasing our second collection of Trollheim stories in print, named Trolling About. It will be available on this website at www.salemhousepress.com and Barnes & Noble. Pick up your copy today, pretty please with sugar on top...
Make sure you pick up the first collection of tales too...
Fiction/ Illustrated Fantasy/ Mythology / Scandinavian Myth/ Norse Sagas / Scandinavian Folk Lore / Coffee Table Book
Paperback: $45 | Hardcover: $65 | PDF eBook $5
Buy now link...
Following the Harry N. Abrams, Inc. tradition of the series that created Brian Froud's and Alan Lee's Faeries and Gnomes by Wil Huygen and Rien Poortvliet, we present you with what would have been the next book in the series: Trolls: A Compendium. Trolls—do you think you know what they are? Could you be wrong?
Trolls within Scandinavian lore, myth, saga, fantasy, and folktales are actually anything magical within our northern neighbor's culture. Richly illustrated in this volume are the tales of faeries, dwarves, nissen, huldras, gods, Jotuns, draugar, ghosts, and more. Also, this book introduces our readers to the world of Trollheim, populated by Nattrolls that escaped the 17th-century Swedish colony within the New Jersey Pine Barrens. Narrated by Christopher Jonathan Hulton, who lives in the Thousand Acre Woods just after the Civil War, their tales are filled with Native American lore and tales of their neighbor, the Jersey Devil.
Preview: Google Books
Hardcover: $65.00
PDF (non-flowable, best on tablet, desktop, or laptop) eBook: Download a copy onto your device today! Only $5.00
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