The Jule Cat
Welcome to another adventure from the Thousand Acre Woods deep within Trollheim of the NJ Pine Belt! Tales Chronicled by Jonathan Hulton... That's me! Today's tale, a ghost ship has docked in Tuckerton with only the Jule Cat left. Not only did she eat all of the mice on board, but she ate the whole crew too. Including the Captain!
Angrboda was chasing a cat around the house, knocking a vase or two over while working up a real sweat; when her mother called.
"Angrboda," Helgi called, "Did you hear Olie Bjornsen,the dwarf, just keeled over?"
It was then the cat came to a dead stop stunning Angrboda.
"Olie is dead…" the cat pondered.
Now this came to the two of them as a shock.
"But I be done seen 'bout ev'rything When I heard a cat talk!" Helgi gasped.
The cat stood up and turned into a dwarf. He put a finger to his pursed lips to ponder while the rest of him morphed into a dwarf himself. "Olie sure did have a sexy wife; you know he shot me in the ass with buckshot once leaving his back door! I need to get back to Dvergrheim before you she starts up with another fellow…"
"What…" Angrboda just sat there flummoxed with her broom rolling in front of her.
"So long and thanks for all the mice!" the x-king of the dwarves said with a single wave.
One down, several to go.
Bjorn waved back to him, a bit stupefied at what he was doing there. "That was Odr; he has been missing since Olie took his girl and the throne from him," Bjorn said. "I think he owes Gramps five pounds of Sweet Annie from a game of Nine Men Morris?"
"Dad, you know the strangest of people!" exclaimed Angrboda.
"Hmmmm….---well, do you want to go on a big cat hunt?"
"Mountain lion---we haven't seen one of them in the Pines for over a hundred years or so…"
"No, the Jule Cat."
Angrboda stepped back. "Shit, where the hell is my Jule dress from last January!" The only protection from the Jule Cat are new clothes received on Jule. Don't ask…
Bjorn continued, "The Thorsrod crossed over from Iceland this week and set up port in Tuckerton. The mate was right to jump overboard. It was better to die like a man. To die like a sailor in blue water, no man can object; she just ate the captain before they docked. He was the last.
"Since then, they say she jumped a cargo car and ate a few tramps. The engineer saw her jump off at Eagle's Nest Pond before Swinging Hill Road heading southwest."
"So she is heading here; I hope I didn't gain any weight since January," Angrboda said rushing to her room.
"Bjorn," yelled Gramps from outside, "We need to get going!"
Bjorn left, joining Pop-Pops and Gramps. Karl just ran for his storm shelter…
Off they went.
They searched for hours. On the way they saw whiskers of mice, a claw of a bluebird, a pelt of a squirrel, a paw of a pine marten, a spike from a pickerel, feathers of an owl, a canine of a wolf, a honey stained beard of a bear, and Pop's shoe.
"Good riddance," Pop-Pops said while picking up his shoe. "Now I can guide his soul to the devil…"
As we came upon 21 Lakes, Bjorn got scared that the Jule Cat might have gotten so big he could eat the Great Horned Serpent who lived in the water… He recalled when Thor tried lifting a cat, which was the Midgard Serpent in disguise.
"What time is it?" Bjorn asked. "Helgi wanted me to milk her cows."
Gramps hit him twice with his stick, twice... "It just struck two! Their teats are dry tonight with this Troll cat in the woods. Don't be so foolish…"
When they got to the crossroad at Fatback's, she sprang into the road.
She snarled and growled. She swiped the air with her claw and showed her teeth. Her spine curled, and the hair stood on her back. She went to-swat the ball of twine Pop-Pops rolled out.
Then Gramps struck her arse with his stick. Then the Thorsrod crew popped out followed by their captain, the shoes of freeloaders, the rest of the whiskers of the mice, the other claw of a bluebird, the bones and muscles of a squirrel, the other paw of a pine marten, the rest of the spikes from a pickerel, the flapping wings of an owl, the snapping teeth of a wolf, the tongue licking the rest of a honey stained beard of a bear, and more...
Pop's walking out with his other shoe in hand as he beat Pop-Pops with it. "Try to take my soul at the crossroads!"
Where there once stood the Jule Cat, was now a beautiful princess.
Pops just walked off with the gal on his arm and gave Pop-Pops some raspberries…
If you like this tale, hit the share button below or just even tell your friend the old fashion way, with your mouth. Come back next week for our next tale.
At the end of March 2025, we are releasing the first collection of Trollheim stories in print. So make sure to come back and check when you can bring their family into your home! You can preorder it on Barnes & Noble now!
Fiction/ Illustrated Fantasy/ Mythology / Scandinavian Myth/ Norse Sagas / Scandinavian Folk Lore / Coffee Table Book
Paperback: $45 | Hardcover: $65 | PDF eBook $5
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Following the Harry N. Abrams, Inc. tradition of the series that created Brian Froud's and Alan Lee's Faeries and Gnomes by Wil Huygen and Rien Poortvliet, we present you with what would have been the next book in the series: Trolls: A Compendium. Trolls—do you think you know what they are? Could you be wrong?
Trolls within Scandinavian lore, myth, saga, fantasy, and folktales are actually anything magical within our northern neighbor's culture. Richly illustrated in this volume are the tales of faeries, dwarves, nissen, huldras, gods, Jotuns, draugar, ghosts, and more. Also, this book introduces our readers to the world of Trollheim, populated by Nattrolls that escaped the 17th-century Swedish colony within the New Jersey Pine Barrens. Narrated by Christopher Jonathan Hulton, who lives in the Thousand Acre Woods just after the Civil War, their tales are filled with Native American lore and tales of their neighbor, the Jersey Devil.
Preview: Google Books
Hardcover: $65.00
PDF (non-flowable, best on tablet, desktop, or laptop) eBook: Download a copy onto your device today! Only $5.00
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