Appearances
Welcome to another adventure from the Thousand Acre Woods. A place on the edge of Trollheim, deep within the mysterious NJ Pine Belt! Tales chronicled by Christopher Jonathan Hulton...That's me! Today's tale, Karl explains his strange life to us.
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"Well, many think I'm a drunk—at times they wouldn't be wrong…but, most of the time I'm sober as a priest, well maybe not an Irish one," Karl stares at us, breaking the fourth wall. "It's not mead, nor any other alcohol that inebriates me. It's a much stronger depressant."
"See, I'm what you call an empath.
"It's like sticking a neon sign out of my noggin that says 'EAT at JOE' S' - early bird special for the lonely hearts, the troubled of mind, and those generally lost. There are so few of us, the sign is like a two hundred foot tall illuminated cactus on a large desert plain.
So I hear a lot of stories—some I wish I never heard, but listening I was born to do. I had to learn what to say, how, when, and where.
"I hear the flowers' and insects' stories,
the rocks',
the birds',
the fish,
the animals',
and even the bacteria's… They are the easiest; they only call for quick, rational action and some sympathy.
"You humans…
"Most are alright; mourning is the easiest, it passes in its own time. Strategic planning is my favorite; either it be love, hobby, or work. Childhood problems that develop into adult disasters are the hardest.
You need to treat adults like children. There are certain developmental processes that they need to learn before growing up. Sometimes, I can sneak them in while teaching them to play the piano, baseball, or any other hobby. Once they accept me as a teacher, it's a small step till I become a parental figure.
"From there, I can bring them back through childhood and find the matrices they weren't taught, the ones their parents didn't learn, and give their foundation a good shoring up.
"Most can handle the complex calculus of life, but their answers tend to be wrong because somewhere they were taught, or learned on their own, that two plus two was five.
"Though, us empaths need to be careful. There are vampires and demons about.
"Vampires are people who enjoy their little nook in hell. They don't want to leave, nor do they want to sink any lower, but they love diving deeper with a rope attached to their waist. The inexperienced empaths keep pulling them up, but they always snip the rope before they can pull them up completely out.
"Young empaths believe that everyone, when given a chance, would want to leave Hell. That is what breaks most: the heartache of watching those souls dance between the ninth and third level of Hell. Who would want to stay in there…it's Hell! Right!!!?
"Then there are demons; they see the neon sign and attack the empath so they can feed on even more lost souls. I guess they make the vampires—something in their childhood had to turn them. Usually, a parent the demon turned already.
"Right, inebriation!
"All of the stories and pain make me act funny, and sometimes do some strange things to blow off steam.
Gramps, he never gets drunk either—how much alcohol do you think it would take to get a Nattroll, whose actual size is twenty-five feat tall, drunk? Peggy, for a Pine Witch, never could store that much mead on a Friday night. Nevertheless, a human barkeep in Toms River…
The datura, sometimes I need to travel to other dimensions to heal people's minds , or spirits. Now, Gramps just does it for fun. Many nights, he will drink his tea and visit friends in other galaxies or universes.
"Partially, we do strange things because we can…who is going to stop the five hundred pound gorilla,with horns in the bar?
"Oh, all of my tricks on Angrboda, I could never hurt her. She is, in fact, my granddaughter; just never tell her that, please."
If you like this tale, hit the share button below or just even tell your friend the old fashion way, with your mouth. Come back next week for our next tale.
We are releasing our second collection of Trollheim stories in print, named Trolling About. It will be available on this website at www.salemhousepress.com and Barnes & Noble. Pick up your copy today, pretty please with sugar on top...
Make sure you pick up the first collection of tales too...
Fiction/ Illustrated Fantasy/ Mythology / Scandinavian Myth/ Norse Sagas / Scandinavian Folk Lore / Coffee Table Book
Paperback: $45 | Hardcover: $65 | PDF eBook $5
Buy now link...
Following the Harry N. Abrams, Inc. tradition of the series that created Brian Froud's and Alan Lee's Faeries and Gnomes by Wil Huygen and Rien Poortvliet, we present you with what would have been the next book in the series: Trolls: A Compendium. Trolls—do you think you know what they are? Could you be wrong?
Trolls within Scandinavian lore, myth, saga, fantasy, and folktales are actually anything magical within our northern neighbor's culture. Richly illustrated in this volume are the tales of faeries, dwarves, nissen, huldras, gods, Jotuns, draugar, ghosts, and more. Also, this book introduces our readers to the world of Trollheim, populated by Nattrolls that escaped the 17th-century Swedish colony within the New Jersey Pine Barrens. Narrated by Christopher Jonathan Hulton, who lives in the Thousand Acre Woods just after the Civil War, their tales are filled with Native American lore and tales of their neighbor, the Jersey Devil.
Preview: Google Books
Hardcover: $65.00
PDF (non-flowable, best on tablet, desktop, or laptop) eBook: Download a copy onto your device today! Only $5.00
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