Meet Me at the Fair
By Christopher Jon Luke Dowgin
Part of the Sinclair Narratives
8 A.M. Halloween, 1889
Paris
Louie was driving us through the Exposition Universelle de 1889 under the Eiffel Tower. Louie was grinning from ear to ear. It is not every day you get to drive a Porsche. D La Toujours Contente was a four-wheel drive electric car thought to be faster than the La Jamais Contente. Louie was biting at the bit to see if he could break 70 mph through the countryside.
Riding with Louie and me were Caroline and Harriet Hemenway. Hemenway was the founder of the Massachusetts Audubon Society. She traveled from Salem to the fair to meet Emily Williamson of the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds. They had lots in common. They both hailed from Manchester, the home of Dubois' young friend Edward Hulton's newspaper. Well, one lady was from Manchester, Massachusetts, and the other from Manchester, England. They shared their disgust at the slaughter of birds for fashionable hats amongst their peers at tea socials. Something Edward was printing stories about in his father's conservative paper. I think he had his allowance revoked each time...
Nevertheless, I was reading the new Wall Street Journal about Sullivan beating Jake Kilrain in the last bare-knuckle championship and the application of the Marquess of Queensberry Rules. I ate another piece of licorice and flipped the page to read that the New York Giants were still celebrating their win over the Brooklyn Bridegrooms in the World Series. Ah, Princeton won the collegiate football championship.
Caroline slapped me on the back of my head with her fan. "Henry, we are riding in the shadow of the eleventh wonder of the world and you still have your nose in one of your papers."
'that prick Frick is refuting his responsibility for the Johnstown Flood as Herbert Hoover is arranging aid for the survivors; Russia is calling for help as the Asiatic flu is leveling their population, and George Peabody's nephew Othniel Charles Marsh found a dinosaur called a Triceratops during his Bone Wars."
Frick lived south of Manchester in Beverly Farms, just outside of Prides Crossing. He had a monstrosity on either side of the road, behind large iron gates. He was Carnegie's hatchet man. Pinkertons were under his orders at the Homestead Massacre.
George Peabody was the man behind the 1837 Panic and the founder of the Morgans' banking empire. Othniel was one of two nephews in his family that he thought had a brain; he didn't have much respect for the rest of his family. Othniel grew up to have a heavy influence over Yale and all of the presidents that would graduate there, and the other nephew influenced those at Harvard and all of the lawyers that would graduate from there.
Speaking of Harvard, we were meeting our cowboy friend Teddy Roosevelt at the Laplander exhibition. This Harvard grad was just appointed the head of the Civil Service in Washington. Funny Garfield was assassinated after empowering the office, and another president was going to be killed, making Teddy president in a few years...
"Louie," yelled Caroline, "please stop the car, Harriet, and I want to see the city from the top."
I folded my paper closed as Louie stopped. I handed Louie some licorice before I had some more.
I read the plate on the elevator. It said Ottis.
North of Manchester in Ipswich, lived Charles Richard Crane; his father was the CEO. Charles would bring the end of the Russian Provincial Government for the Bolsheviks, who would, in the end, kill more Russians than the Asiatic flu. The Trans-Siberian Railroad, which they were finishing now with Morgan's friends' choo-choos, would bring them to their deaths in the gulags. Baldwin Locomotives owned Eddington Arms when the Russians owned what became the Navy base the Hindenburg would crash at. Because of Charles, Lakehurst, NJ had a Russian refugee problem that settled nearby in Cassville.
"I bet you wish you could get it up with just a push of a button..." Louie joked.
"Believe me, he doesn't need any help," Caroline corrected Louie. Caroline told me earlier that he had no problem getting it up with my wife.
I recently had a marriage of convenience. An older, good friend of mine needed protection after her wealthy husband died. The bastard of her cook, whom she had adopted, was trying to institutionalize her to steal her money. He was one of the founders of Stanford University and didn't need anymore of her money. After our honeymoon, we left for France with Caroline, my soulmate through time, to live in the tunnels under the old Templar citadel in Paris. My family used to live there before we had to run to Roslyn, Scotland, when the King was killing Templars. We were charged with recovering various religious and magical items throughout the old world before the wars in the next century could collapse civilization in the following century.
In our first adventure, we met the young reincarnated Louie, who became my cabbie once more. Soon afterward, the elderly Marie Francis Hopkins-Searles soon began pinching Louie's rear. It seems I underestimated my wife's appetite...
At the top, it was strangely vacant. From around the corner, we heard chanting in a weird mixture of Latin and Coptic. A sweet-smelling smoke occasionally wafted toward us on the ever-changing wind at the top.
Caroline was the first around the corner with her skirt removed, revealing some more martial-ready trousers. I was impressed to see Harriet had followed her. With a loud snap, a long stiletto snapped from her parasol.
I just sat back and shared some licorice with Louie as we followed behind as spectators. I had a feeling this was going to be the best exhibition at the fair.
Around the corner was Dubois' strange friend, Aleister Crowley.
He snarled at the sight of Caroline and contorted his hands and pointed them at her, chanting.
"Gobblygook," she said as she dislocated a few fingers with an inner crescent kick. "Damn, gobbly gloom," she said with an outer crescent kick.
"You bitch!" yelled Crowley. "Get her!" It was then that a group of Moriarty's hooded goons rushed the two ladies.
The first, Caroline sidestepped, and Harriet gave him his first and second dueling scars. The next Caroline slid in sideways and lifted and twisted him over her hip as she caught the elbow of the next. He went to swing with his other hand, but Caroline held that elbow, preventing him from twisting his torso. She pulled his arm down, stepped past him, and manipulated the crease of his knee, bringing him down.
I pointed at her, and Louie nodded as he took another piece of licorice from my bag.
Harriet blocked a punch with her parasol and, with the same movement, thrusted past to stop her blade an inch from his nose. Then second-guessed herself, with a smirk, and gave him two scars too. The rest ran away, leaving that kooky, spooky fool.
"Can we talk about this?" pleaded the upstart crow with a smile.
Then Crowley saw his demon materialize and began grinning.
The demon looked at the two and said, "You're on your own," and tried vanishing.
Harriet was wearing a medicine bag her mother-in-law got from her neighbor, Cushing, who got it from a Zuni witch.
A hot-air balloon appeared from below, and Crowley got in while we were looking at the demon. It was Nellie Bly who was following Jules Verne's course in his novel Around the World in 80 Days. We saw her from above throw him out like ballast on a tether.
The girls turned back, and I put my licorice under my armpit, and we began golf clapping. Caroline smacked me again, and then kissed my cheek with a smile.
...
We met Teddy at the Laplander village. He was trying to follow his friend Wovoka's conversation with a Finnish trollman. Wovoka nodded as the trollman threw a rock over Teddy's head.
"What was that—"
Paiute and Finnish shared some Ugric words, and Wovoka nodded in agreement with the shaman as Teddy began dancing in circles, slapping his mouth.
Some of my third-generation reincarnated Viking crew just walked up laughing and drinking some Coca-Cola. Many of them understood Finnish. See in Scandinavia, there is a tradition of throwing a rock over one's head to gain control over them. It's a lot easier than making a voodoo doll.
Now Wovoka was a powerful medicine man, too. His Ghost Dance was sweeping the nation as America was just stealing the Dakotas from his tribe. He was to meet Sitting Bull at our friend's Buffalo Bill Cody's Wild West Show. Cody was invited to perform at the fair. I'm not sure if this was the reason Teddy never trusted natives, or was it just his Knickerbocker prejudice?
It was then W.E.B. walked up, talking with Tesla about AC current he sold to Westinghouse.
Later, they would share tales of equal rights, inventions, the paranormal, and aliens...
My crew was acting funny. Olaf pushed the strongman on the alley away from his barbells, lifting them with one hand and him with the other. Magnus couldn't shut up; Harriet just opened her parasol in his face and walked away. Olaf had five women following him, grinning.
"How much of that Coke have you guys drunk?" I asked.
"A few cases," he answered. "Not more than a dozen."
We walked up the alley to attend the Wild West Show. On the way, I bought Caroline and Harriet some of Raffaele Esposito's pizza and suggested they skip the Coke.
"Bjorn says we would love some Coke in bed..." she giggled. I know she was kidding. The biggest drug she did was chocolate. Well, it is the same plant...a lot less dangerous though.
Then Louie walked up with my wife on his arm. She was flushed. They just got back from the shadows of the Moulin Rouge.
Louie dropped his pizza and hung his mouth open, pointing from Marry to this man and back to Marry.
Just leaving the concession line were H.G. Wells and his young student.
"Mr. Wells," said the student, "can we go see the Canadian bear exhibit? I hear they have some Klondike bears next to some piglets and Roos from the Australian zoo."
"Who knows," Wells answers, "but I can see you're sprung like a tiger's tail waiting to hop off like a bunny, so don't let me get you down."
Little Master Milne would grow up and write many tales of a little yellow Pooh.
The two of them were eating pizza too, and it made me hungry.
When I headed back, I saw good old Professor Albert materialize from the Miskatonic University.
"Pizza, it's pretty good," Albert offered. I grabbed a slice.
"Can you fill me in on what Dark and Sinister was up to on the tower?"
"He was tuning in the resonating frequency of the tower itself."
"For what?"
"With the instability in Austria, the Pope will try to remove the Holy Lance to Rome, once again."
"So once I was being stabbed by it on the crossroads of the Horos-Stauros, it absorbed some of the energy of the Plemora as I opened the rift—"
"Yes, Longinus saw through it and saw the other world. He began studying through tomes of universal lore of the different dimensions, other than the Plemora."
"Yes, he found Lovecraft years ago and has been trying to bring back the ancient ones."
"The lance will be the transmission—"
"The tower, the antenna, and Crowley tuning what frequency will open the rift to them."
"When the veils are thin tonight between the worlds,"I said.
"What monsieur, that will be four francs," Albert vanished once I grabbed the pizza, and I was left with the concession attendant.
Continued on the Last Story...
So I, Cthulhu, is thinking, what is up with the one percent? Just because an emperor thinks his sons are morons—does he really have to kill them all and start WORLD WAR I !!!!!
Meet Me at the Fair
Continued...
5 P.M.
At the show, Dubois was happily surprised to sit next to Edward again. Edward gave me a few weeks of the Daily Mirror and The Sunday Chronicle. Caroline just shook her head and placed them in her purse. Next to Caroline and Harriet sat one Martha Ann Erskine Ricks. She was a friend of Queen Victoria who presented the queen with a quilt at her 50th anniversary party of being the Queen at the Wild West Show when it was in London. She made it following her African tribal symbols. To her right was the Empress Dowager Cixi of China. An African close friend of the queen of England, and the new friend of the female ruler of China... Martha proved to Caroline and Harriet to be the most amazing Negro, besides WB.
Marry took Dubois on as her ward after he helped build her castle in Great Barrington.
From behind, Doyle and Bell tried to get my attention.
"My good boy," whispered Dr. Bell, "we've got trouble."
"What now?" I asked.
"Have you heard about the Mayerling Affair?"
"No."
"Crown Prince Rudolf of Austria and Mary Freiin von Vetsera have been murdered by Moriarty on the orders of Rudolph's father, Emperor Franz Joseph," jumped in Arthur.
While talking to the good professor, I just pretended to know about the Austrian trouble he was mentioning. It is good to always look confident and knowledgeable in the face of complete I have no fucking clueism.
"Who is telling this story Art!" chided Bell. "Some say he rigged the double suicide before his son's syphilis, which he gave to his wife and his lover, rotted his brain."
"Others, say it was because he presented ideas of equality for peasants, including women, in Hungary," chimed in Caroline.
In time, the emperor would kill off his brother and his son, too, which would lead to WWI.
"Sax, has concerns that Franz Joseph's instability, shown through the murder of his son, proves he should not be able to keep the Holy Lance anymore," Arthur explained. "The church will try to send a representative to remove it." Sax Rohmer was the author of the Fu Manchu series of books. The inspiration for the Sherlock Holmes series, as Dr. Bell, was the real Sherlock Holmes himself.
"I can see Longinus manipulating his way into being that representative," Bell added.
"That is a pointy subject," I said. During a ritual, a centurion stabbed me with it. "Longinus would love to get his hands on it again."
"Moriarty, I can see trying to manipulate Longinus..." Bell pondered.
"Longinus has a habit of letting people think they are pulling him by the nose," I added.
Then the Sioux came in wearing wooden ghoul masks, doing the Ghost Dance.
"That mask there looks like Hanya," said Cixi. "I wear it whenever my courtiers get too big for their britches—keep them in line."
Hanya was a demon scorned by a priest who left her at the altar. She now haunts the Chinese countryside.
Then a parade of whirling dervishes came in. A few of the Sioux clowns were trying to break into their dance. The Sufi just ignored them, but built up small dust devils that pushed them to the side. These masked fools made their way through the stands to us and showed hand signals of my forebears' Freemason lodge in Roslyn.
He lifted his mask, "Excuse me and my friend's antics. I'm Daniel Dravot, and this is Peachey Tolliver Carnehan of the Royal Fusiliers."
"Pleasure," I said.
Then Dravot took Caroline's hand to kiss, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. "My lodge brother Doyle, there, told me you are looking for one Longinus."
Unfortunately, again...
"He is down in the ring with the dervish."
"He is meeting Franz Joseph tonight at 3 am, who is bringing the Holy Lance," Peachy said, crossing himself. "Longinus is working with Crowley to bring the world into the apocalypse tonight for Moriarty."
9 PM
After the show, the girls wanted to see the can-can. My crew skipped the show, with their colas in hand, and had already left for the Mulan Rouge. Louie and Mary had heard about the green fairy on their first visit and wanted to find her fairy house.
We walked in, and it was loud and raucous. Legs and bloomers everywhere, with well-dressed, blushing, tonsured men in an ecstatic mood. I couldn't tell if they were happy to see these women or just happy to be away from their harpy wives.
In the corner was a little man in a sharp suit and a top hat. He had a dark, pointy, twisted mustache above his beard. He was engulfed in a conte crayon drawing of the dancers while almost mindlessly sipping on his wormwood.
"Who is that?" I asked Caroline.
"I don't know, but there is something formidable about him."
"That is one of France's most famous painters," Harriet chimed. "That is Toulouse-Lautrec."
"I think I know him by another name," I replied. "I think that is the dwarf Eitri."
"Who?" yelped Louie, as Mary sat on his lap, sharing a glass of absinthe.
"He is the dwarf who made Thor's hammer," I answered, looking sideways at Eitri. "I always wondered what the origin of the Holy Lance was." I didn't completely believe I empowered it alone.
"May we join you?" I asked, with Caroline and Harriet waiting for his answer.
"Yes, please," he said as he motioned to a passing dancer. She came back with chocolate milk for me, aquavit for Caroline, and Strega for Harriet, all of which were our personal favorites.
"Am I correct? Are you the high one, Eitri?" I asked.
"Very perceptive; I never met you in person, but I hoped you liked your hammer?" he replied.
"Yes, thank you. I'm glad I can finally meet you."
"You are—no, you can't be, can you?" Stammered Harriet.
In the flash of an eye came a fairy, twittering her feet in the air, carrying something called a toaster, which she smashed Harriet in the head with. As quickly as she appeared, she vanished just in time into Eitri's glass before he took his next sip.
"On the off chance," I paused, offering him some licorice, "did you make the Holy Lance?"
"Yes, it's Gungnir—Dvalinn stole it from me while I napped on the anvil.
"Then Freya stole it from him on that trip for her necklace."
Freya slept with Dvalinn and all of his friends for their amazing jewelry.
"By chance, was it also Cú Chulainn's spear, Gáe Bulg?"
"Yes, in Ireland they knew Freya as Scáthach, his teacher, and yes, it was also his father Lugh's."
"OK, is there a way it can move through different dimensions?"
"Yes, Odin needed to travel without Heimdallr knowing. He needed a way beyond his rainbow bridge."
"I guess he didn't want that pot of gold..." Louie cracked.
"Funny you mentioned the pot of gold," interjected Eitri. "Longinus was a Gaul who won the spear in a game of fidchell against Cú Chulainn, a clúrachán, and a pooka. Granted, clúracháns differ from leprechauns, a bit, for their pots tend to be full of whiskey instead of gold."
"Ah, I see." I didn't even see Tesla walk up. 'the spear only could travel through the realms that grew out of the Indo-European dysphoria. When it stabbed our friend here, it gained the ability to travel through, let's say, Mesopotamian dimensions?"
"Yes, the younger and elder gods," Eitri added. 'the Great Old Ones and the Great Ones—no, they are crossing through Yog-Soth, reaching the Outer Gods, and gaining an audience with Azathoth, the creator of their dimensional void before creation."
"This sounds like something from Henry's Book of what the Fuck..." Louie joked.
"Azathoth, roughly, is like the progenitor of the cosmic Groundhog Day from hell," Eitri went on.
"Toulouse, have you been able to get that indigo for me—I need to make more blue Swirlies; I ran out of blue paint, I need to finish my Swirlies!" interrupted Vincent Van Gogh.
Eitri pulled out a bag of the crushed powder and handed it over, while Bjorn and the other Vikings danced by can canning with the ladies. "This should do you fine. Are you still seeing aliens in your stars?"
Vincent had turned his missing ear toward Eitri, "What?"
"Aliens, my dear sir."
"Yes, they are falling from the sky, infecting babies before human souls can get in. Them little creatures are causing havoc—I bet they will be the end of the world, those little round heads."
Yog-Soth appears as a collection of orbs...
"Aliens, you see them too?" Tesla chimed.
Caroline just sat back, amused, quietly, being entertained. Bjorn and Olaf came back kicking up their bare, hairy legs from under stolen dresses in line with the women.
While I was distracted, Magnus had snuck up and changed my chocolate milk for some absinthe, and that toaster hit me too. The green fairy got me.
I woke up in a strange world. After brushing off my pants, I looked up and read a sign that read ‘Sarnath population 1' which quickly turned to 2 when it acknowledged me.
A city in ruins that once looked like Oz with many spires now lodged into mounds of many different layers of sediment. Just before me was a cellar hole that revealed many subterranean levels through some structural collapse.
"Why, hello," came a friendly old voice from behind. "I believe I haven't seen anyone in ten millennia."
I turned, "Hello, I'm Edward, I mean Henry—you wouldn't have long pointy ears?"
He tapped the sides of his head and said no sheepishly, and then, "I'm Labon of the sacred spear; have you seen it lately?"
"The what?"
"My spear."
"Not sure, but I am looking for one."
"I haven't seen mine since the fall of this once great city."
"How did your city end?"
"We decimated another city, and they carefully planned their revenge over the years, and here we are."
"How long did you get to enjoy your victory?"
"A thousand years."
"A thousand, your cultures must have had a robust sense of longevity."
"Not exactly, a lower level clerk suggested the perfect plan; it got stuck in committee, sent back for redraft, and got lost in the mail—our enemies had long memories, though, and once they found the redraft, they attacked."
"What was the strategy?"
"They coughed on us."
"That is all?"
"Almost, they spread propaganda that there was no virus, or even germs. Most of the population also began wearing funny rubber clogs and watering plants with an electrolyte-rich liquid void of any water before they all succumbed—for centuries, we had lapsed in the quality of our public education..."
"I see."
"I see your world is heading that way too."
"What!"
Then his ears popped up, and he smacked me with the toaster again. It was Harvey, the seven foot tall rabbit pooka.
2:45 AM
Day of the Dead
Many women passed us dressed as le sorcière on this Halloween night. It was the last night of the fair, and everyone was in a frenzy. The police tried clearing the fairgrounds...they didn't stand a chance. The dervishes were dancing with Wovoka and the Lapps. Annie Oakley was flirting with the men, shooting shot glasses from their hands. Marry left Louie's side and nodded to Annie's gun. Annie handed it over. Mary shot and missed the glass, scaring a rat who dropped some pizza crust from his mouth.
"You missed," Annie said, provoking the surrounding men to laugh.
"No, I didn't; I was aiming for the flea on the rat."
Men were stumbling about in devil and ghost costumes.
It could be a challenge getting to the tower; anyone in a mask could sneak up and slip a knife into our ribs.
Later that night, we were going up against Franz Joseph's personal vanguard, the crack troops of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Peachy told us they are positioned from the bottom to the top. Above Crowley and his demon, Moriarty, and Longinus were opening the crack for Yog-Soth to come through. The black man who has been hounding Salem since the Witch Trials.
My third-generation reincarnated Viking crew were leading the charge with Bjorn in front. Dubois and Hulton filed in with them. Caroline and Harriet were already scaling up in the dark. They started an hour ago, so they should come up behind them as we reached the top. Peachy and Dravot snuck off, promising a surprise.
I have no idea where Louie and Mary went. Sax was waiting for us at the elevator with Dr. Bell, fixing it after its sabotaged. Arthur was guarding his back as we arrived. This was the fourth elevator they fixed, one per strut. The Vikings split into four teams.
Teddy joined us with Tesla. They were carrying a box with wires hanging out of it.
We began ascending in tandem to disembark on the first platform to enter another Otis to get to the top. We knew the Austrians were waiting for us.
We were within feet of the platform when Teddy yelled, "Bully!" We could hear all the elevators screech to a stop. Teddy and Tesla opened the top latch and climbed out. They brought up the box and the wires. Tesla placed the leads onto the platform above, and Teddy began winding the box—sparks jumped and arced. We heard many people cursing in German above. When it got quiet, Teddy and Tesla came back down with their wires and box. Teddy yelled "Bully!" once more, and we heard the elevators engage again.
We got out and walked over the twitching soldiers.
Up we went in the next two elevators. On the top, Bjorn would lead our force on the right, and me on the left. Caroline and Harriet will come up behind them.
As the clock was turning three, the witching hour began; thunder cracked, and the sky opened with lightning flooding into our world from beyond the pale. I didn't know what to expect on top. I looked into the void and saw tentacles swirling, breaching into our world, with a howl unknown to anyone in this dimension, that somehow still worked on our spine like nails running up a chalkboard.
We stormed out and fought our way through more Austrians with funny little mustaches.
I rushed for Longinus, who had the lance. Lightning was connecting it to the critter on the other side. Crowley was looking into the sky with his eyes rolled back in his head, making strange gestures with his mangled fingers.
The little mustache men charged us; Bjorn just ran through them like a Klondike. Dubois ran up to Crowley and gave him that right hook he learned from Sullivan, once again... Longinus retreated toward the edge, behind the soldiers.
Caroline and Harriet slipped over the edge and made a grab for the spear. I came in, but I didn't notice the ten that turned on me.
Out of the darkness cracked several shots that hit the steel girders above the soldiers' heads.
Lightning flashed, and I saw Peachy and Dravot shooting with Wild Bill and Annie Oakley and Mary in Nellie Bly's balloon. Louie just reached out and grabbed the lance and handed it to Mary. She kissed him on the cheek and goosed his rear.
Longinus spun to watch them sail away as Harriet poked him with her parasol. He spun around and fell over the edge. Caroline looked over the railing to see that he was caught upside down by his robe.
He finally stopped chanting under his breath as the gap in the air closed and I waved goodbye to a grumpy Yog-Soth as this universe slammed the door on his fingers.
It was then that Moriarty and Franz Joseph closed in on me as I was being held. Franz got me in a choke hold from behind as the rest stepped back. I grabbed his arms and lifted my legs. He fell down with me. I worked the pressure points in the back of his elbows and escaped. Moriarty came slashing down with his cane, smacking Franz as I rolled away.
Moriarty swung again—I caught him by the elbow before he could plant his foot and swung him back off balance. He came back up, and I stepped on the outside of his right knee. Bjorn came up behind him. He saw him coming and leaped for the edge.
I heard him laughing as I peered over. He had a zipline waiting for him.
Then, sneaking up on me from behind—was Caroline, who goosed me!
8 AM
As they were cleaning up from the carnival from last night, I got out of the car to unplug it from the charger. Caroline and Harriet disembarked.
Louie was snapping on his driving gloves and pulling his goggles down. I was supposed to race with him against the La Jamais Contente rocket car that held the speed record, but Caroline pushed me out of the way as Louie sped up, leaving me to eat my licorice alone. Well, I have some time now to catch up on the news in Hulton's papers.
I could relax. We had placed the Holy Lance in the vaults under the old Templar citadel. Franz left unmolested back across the border with his funny little mustache troops. Nellie had taken Teddy and Tesla for a ride above to watch the race, and Edward and Dubois were running like chickens with their heads cut off with cans of Coca-Cola in their hands eating pizza.
Epilogue:
OK, did you find all of the connections? As you know, Cthulhu is quite hungry still. Do you have the brains to feed him?
Maybe, you are pixilated after reading our tales? Maybe you were touched by the Green Fairy? For the only thing that connected these tales were all of the damn Trolls! Draugr, Nattroll, Jul Cat, Wesen, and wizard.
Yog-Sothoth, oh he is not from our universe—though he keeps trying...For at least a hundred years now, the Miskatonic University has been fighting terrorist from other worlds, and we will keep doing so!
~Professor Wilmarth
Miskatonic University
